you will never know me
by Sorry I'm Slytherin
Summary: subject to a life of strict rules when Alysia receives a letter regarding a train her world changes and she rebels, but does she know when to back down? i rated it T but in sensitive cases its an M. d:
1. prologue

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW. IF YOU NEED GO TO MY PROFILE IT WILL EXPLAIN ANY CONFUSING WORDS.**

Only important people go to boarding schools. Or at least that's what my mum told me. I've always wanted to know what it's like, a grand castle with thousands of girls and boys chatting and talking excitedly.

My mum disagreed. She says it would be horrible, she says I would miss home too much. I don't believe her. My friend's cousin Shauna says that she never misses home and she gets to be herself more because her mum and dad are not there to tell her what to do. It sounds _amazing_.

That's why I was so thrilled when I got the letter. Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. _**AWESOME!**_

Yep you guessed it.

My mother disagreed.

I tried telling her I knew nothing about it. But she thinks I somehow signed up for this school on my computer (as if you could do that, she knows nothing about computers).

But she gave in eventually; after my dad persuaded her (it weren't easy). But anyway, back to the point, this woman called professor McGonagall came from the school and took me to Diagon Alley (I know right) to buy all my school stuff. It was umm fab...brill...amaz...beaut...awes..._**PERFECT!**_ it really felt quite wonderful. You know that feeling when it doesn't feel real but you know it is, well that is how I explained Diagon alley to mum and dad. Mum thought it was bulls*it. Dad cried. I cried. I ate ice-cream. I was happy.

_Chapter 2_


	2. The Hogwarts Express

Dear diary,

Hello

My name is Alysia Duggan, and I have just been told that I am a witch, so I am sitting on a train that I don't know the destination of. Well, I guess I don't know any more than anyone else. We all know it's called Hogwarts.

I feel like an idiot. Everyone else I've met comes from a wizarding family. Like, I know there is other "muggle-borns" on the train but they've all made friends already, so I'm lonely.

One boy that I met asked me what house I wanted to be in but before I could answer he declared he was going to be a Slytherin, so I just squeaked "me too." Feebly, and he walked off. I felt so dumb. What did I do wrong? Was he joking? Is Slytherin bad? I think it is, because when someone else asked me, I said I wanted to be in Slytherin and they gave me a dirty look and walked off.

Surely it can't be that bad. I mean I'm sure it's just an expectation that they need to overrule. Well, I still hope I'm not in Slytherin, it doesn't sound too good.


	3. the sorting

As we got off the train a scarily loud voice bellowed over the crowd, "firs' years this way!"

I followed the rest of the first years to the gigantic man who told us his name was Hagrid. He told us to get into boats. I was with the Slytherin boy and two others who looked extremely dim.

It was raining by the time we got to the grand castle. It was big and old and looked as if it was daring us to try and penetrate it's walls. A plaque by the front doors said 'the battle of Hogwarts- 2nd may 1998'. Below it was a list of names of people who had died, but I only had time to read the first name as we were being bustled along so quickly, the words Fred Weasley written in swervy script. The name sounded so familiar but where from...that's it! "I'm Hugo Weasley, what house do you want to be in?" the ginger boy on the platform had said he was a Weasley! This 'Fred' must be his uncle or cousin or maybe... maybe it was his dad. Oh what a horrible ordeal that would have been for a young boy. He would have been a baby when he lost Fred. I felt like crying, but my piteous sadness was halted when I stepped inside. The entrance hall was so grand and tall I felt like I was in the queen's palace. It was beautiful. Everything was warm and it felt like the castle was pulling me in and I couldn't resist smiling, despite me being cold and wet. For a second everyone stopped. Something was swooping above us, carrying what looked like an extremely large water bomb. A girl at the front screamed when the thing dropped the water bomb, soaking her and Hagrid through to the bone.

"That were peeves the poltergeis'" Hagrid told us as we walked on, "you wanna stay away from him!"

Hagrid walked us up to a large set of wooden doors, and knocked thrice, sending a loud booming through the hall. A very old looking woman opened the doors and thanked Hagrid. Before taking us inside, she said, "Welcome to Hogwarts, I am professor McGonagall, the transfiguration teacher and deputy head mistress. Your head teacher is Professor Horace Slughorn. Now you are about to take place in the sorting where you will be sorted into one of four houses. There is Slytherin, whose head is professor Zabini; Gryffindor, whose head is professor Longbottom; ravenclaw whose head is professor chang and hufflepuff whose head is Professor Abbott. Now when you go in I would like you to place the hat on your head, it will call out your house and you will place it back on the stool, and then return to your seat. Thank you."

She opened the doors and took us through to the front and stood before us, she unfolded a piece of parchment and started reading out names:

"ABBOTT, JUILIET"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"ABERCROMBIE, JONATHON"

"RAVENCLAW"

"ANTHONY, MAREY"

"GRIFFINDOR"

"BELL, LUCY"

"HUFFLEPUFF"

"BROWN, JULLIAN"

"HUFFLEPUFF"

The slytherin's were looking annoyed; by know each house had at least one first year, except them.

"CREEVEY, THOMAS!"

"RAVENCLAW"

"DUGGAN, ALYSIA"

I walked up to the stool, stiff as a board. I felt like everyone was watching me, well come to think of it, they probably were. I put the hat on my head. It had barely touched my head when it bellowed...

"SLYTHERIN!"

"No, no, no, no…"I muttered as I moved over towards the cheering slytherin's. As I passed the boy from the platform, who was still waiting to be sorted, he muttered "good one, Duggan."

What had I done well? Pffftt, he is so annoying!

"EVERGREEN, ROSALYN"

"GRIFFINDOR"

"FINNIGAN, NATALIE"

"RAVENCLAW"

"FOGHARTY, LOUISE"

"SLYTHERIN" (yes! i am not the only one!)

"FRATER, RILEY"

"GRIFFINDOR"

"FRAZER, VICKY"

"SLYTHERIN"

"GOULD, EDITH"

"HUFFLEPUFF"

"MALFOY, SCORPIUS" (so that's his name…)

"SLYTHERIN!" (_Typical_)

"NOEL, MARGO"

"RAVENCLAW"

"AGNES, OAPLEY"

"HUFFLEPUFF"

"HOPPKINS, GEOFFREY"

"GRIFFINDOR"

"PICKERING, ADAM"

"GRIFFINDOR"

"POTTER, ALBUS"

"SLYTHERIN!"

I waved to the nervous looking boy called Albus to sit next to me, but when he walked over a griffindor who looked like him stood up and called "WHY? AL, YOU MAJOR PRAT! WHY?"

Albus looked upset as he sat and explained to me that that was his brother, James, who had it in for slytherin's. I explained that I knew how it felt to be judged so I was on his side.

"SAXBY, ANJALI"

"HUFFLEPUFF"

"SCAMANDER, LORCAN!" ("hey I know him! Said Albus, his twin is that blonde one over there!" (he pointed to a boy who no doubt was his twin)).

"RAVENCLAW"

"SCAMANDER, LYSANDER!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

"SPINNET, JACK"

"RAVENCLAW"

"SLOPER, ALICIA"

"GRIFFINDOR"

"WEASLEY, FRED"

"GRIFFINDOR" ("naturally" Albus mumbled with a smile- how does he know so many people?)

"WEASLEY, ROSE"

"SLYTHERIN!"

Albus beamed as Rose sat down and told her she was done for, she said that she didn't care anymore.

I think I may have just made two knew best friends.


	4. not really a chapter, just a filler

That night in the common room I have to say was the worst night of my life. I tried to read my book (defence the real way by harry potter – who happens to Albus' dad), but I couldn't because the light was all green. When Rose asked what was up, I said that I couldn't see anything and she tried to teach me a spell, but we ended up setting fire to Albus' wizard chess set, causing Malfoy to come over and rub it in my face that I haven't got wizard parents (NOT my fault!).

I'm sorry that sounded like a bit of a rant.

When I woke up in the morning, no one else was awake, so I got up as silently as I could, got dressed and washed and noticed that it still wasn't 5 o'clock. I sat down on my bed and began to read.

_those who have been involved with Voldemort or other evil organisations have said (before being put in Azkaban) that often people tried to drop out of the illegalities but were threatened or killed, this shows that no matter how much resistance you put up, if you are not trained properly you are(to use the common term)-done for. This is why in my new book I will be showing you the real way to stay trained against evil. _

I read this paragraph of the intro again and again. I know I must sound stupid, but who is lord Voldemort?

Actually don't tell me, I don't really want to know. 


	5. um, Al could you help me?

A/N: ** PLEASE REVIEW. SORRY THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS (EXCEPT CHAPTER 3) WERE SO SHORT.**

**I WILL TRY TO WRITE MORE IN FUTURE. I AM HOPING TO MAKE THIS STORY REALLY LONG, SO PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON IT (OR ME). NO MATTER HOW NICELY I ASK, J.K. STILL WON'T GIVE ME HARRY POTTER. )-:**

Professor Zabini gave us our timetables today at breakfast; I bet I am going to get loads of homework from this lot:

_Monday:_

_9 o'clock:_

_Defence against the dark arts – professor n. longbottom_

_10 o'clock:_

_Potions – professor b. Zabini_

_11 o'clock:_

_Potions- professor b. Zabini_

_12 o'clock:_

_Lunch_

_1 o'clock:_

_Care of magical creatures – professor c. Weasley_

_2 o'clock:_

_Herbology – professor p. sprout_

_3 o'clock:_

_End of day_

THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!

Just after I'd finished my toast, about a hundred owls swooped in from a high window and started landing in front of people (mostly at the Gryffindor table I noticed) rose explained that they were delivering post and said the Gryffindors got more post because they all placed orders for dung bombs to put outside our common room. She said that it was normal for there to be rivalry between houses but Gryffindors plain hated us. I was about to ask why when a large, handsome tawny owl landed in front of me. To avoid any embarrassment (on my part) rose Took the letter off its leg and gave it to me under the table (what? They delivered something to me why?)

It was a small note written in neat script a bit like my own, it also looked like it had been written carefully in a dark room where the sender didn't want anyone to see them writing, and it read:

_Meet me at the astronomy tower at eleven. Please. Tell no-one. Bring no-one. _

A part of me wanted to do what the letter said and tell no-one. And I knew rose would freak out. But Albus would keep a straight head, I would tell him in DADA.

Despite my constant efforts to catch Albus' attention whilst we were taking a quiz on what sort of defence strategy we prefer, I failed.

However, I caught my chance on our way to potions when rose slipped off because she spotted her friend Lorcan.

"Uh, al, if somebody asked you to meet them at the astronomy tower at night what would you do?"

"I would ask you or rose to come with me," he replied.

"Well then, will you come with me to the astronomy tower at eleven tonight?"

"Yeah sure, should I wear my invisibility cloak?"

"YOU HAVE AN INVISIBILTY CLOAK?!" I yelled in shock.

"Shut up!" Albus whispered frantically, dodging behind a sixth year to make it look like I was talking to her instead of him.

"What was all that about?" Albus asked once we were back in class, "Why did you shout about it? It was obviously a secret!"

"I'm sorry, al, I really am! It's just I've always dreamed of them being real and if I ever fantasized when I was little my mother would scold me and tell me to act more mature, so you have to understand all this is overwhelming and I just got used to it and now you're throwing invisibility on me as well! I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Rightwhateversure" he rambled as he tried to thicken his runny blue potion, which was meant to be thick and red.

"Times up!" professor Zabini called from the front of the class. "I am coming round to check your cure for boils in a minute so please serve it into four vials. As you know two will be sent to a former colleague of mine from the ministry as he is inspecting school standards, one will be tested on these frogs and another for me to examine."

After a couple of minutes he came round taking one of the vials and testing it on various frogs with boils, he had to keep returning to the front of the classroom to get a new one as many of them kept exploding and others just died. I think I might start an animal rights campaign. I mean we had to use those frogs just now and Albus said when we are older we will transfigure animals and everything! I mean really! This school is awful.

We still hadn't found rose when lunch had ended and we were starting to worry. I mean, no one noticed she was gone in potions. No one noticed she wasn't there at lunch. I was getting seriously nervous now. What if something had happened to her? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhh! Goddamnit rose! I mean, who the hell goes missing on the first day of school. EVER?

Well except me on first day of primary… ohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigod.

Rose has been kidnapped! *everyone in audience gasps*

No not really she just got lost on seventh floor corridor.

Wow, what a day

**A/N: PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLZPLZPLZPZLPZLZPZLPZLPLZ REVIEW. PLEASE.**


	6. it was James James Potter

**A/N - so sorry about the wait. I did try and write everyday but school has pretty hectic recently but I will try ****AT LEAST**** once a week from now. Thx. Please review.**

As me and rose walked down to the common room, I realised how much Rose and Albus meant to me, even though I have only known them a few days. When I was little I never really had friends. My mum was so strict about me fitting in and being normal that I was too normal and I was boring. I'm plain enough as it is! With my mousy brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, I blend in so much with the crowd, it's no wonder no-one noticed me! Sometimes I look at ordinary girls and just wish I was a little like them, but now I am at Hogwarts I have realised how happy I am to be myself. I may not be super popular, but I have friends that I love. For once in my life I am happy.

"Where's Albus?" I asked to break the silence.

"No idea." She said swiftly as if avoiding the subject.

I stopped in my tracks. A large crowd was huddled around the common room door, as if surrounding something.

The blond boy Albus had pointed out to me on the first day ran towards me and rose looking worried

"What is it Lorcan?" said rose with wide eyes. "I thought you were in ravenclaw."

"I am," he said, his voice was positively dreamy, "it's Albus."

Albus was lying on the floor, blood spurting from his nose, his eyes sore and bruised.

Scorpius Malfoy was standing in a corner looking guilty, giving professor Zabini furtive looks every few seconds. His pale pointed face looked sweaty, and nervous.

After Albus was carried away, Malfoy spoke:

"Erm… professor?" he said furtively (is this a confession?) "I saw the whole thing, it was his brother. James. James Potter."

Professor Zabini led him away to discuss what happened and to find James potter. Rose sat down at a table with a fifth year that saw what happened. I was stood there gaping at the spot where Malfoy had been standing. He is a liar. Does he really expect anyone to believe that? Well, I guess he does. I walked over to where rose was sitting she looked shocked and kept looking round at me. Does she want me to come over? Probably.

I walked over to rose and the fifth year, who were deep in conversation.

"Um, rose?"

"Go away, _traitor_" she hissed maliciously

"What?! But…what… it wasn't me! You know that! I thought we were friends!"

"Yeah, right, so did i."

"But what did I do?"

"Everything!"

She stormed off into the girls' dormitory leaving me standing there gaping like an idiot. I expected the fifth year to say something like 'well her cousin just got beat up, of course she upset, don't take it like that.' But instead she just threw me a dirty look and said:

"Now look what you've done. Congratulations, Duggan."

She said the last word with a sneer in her voice, as if my name was dirt in her mouth and she narrowed her eyes.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"_**Alysia, alysia, alysia, aPEEsia" all the girls were sneering at me as I walked out of class. The names they called me were not exactly clever, but they hurt all the same, I ran and hid in the toilets and started to cry, I cried for so long that I didn't hear the bell go for end of lunch – **_

"_**Duggan! Get here this minute! DUGGAN!"**_

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

I burst into tears and ran out of the common room; I didn't know where the hospital wing was so I couldn't visit Albus, I doubt he'd want me to anyway. I guess I'll just have to go to the astronomy tower and meet the author of my first owl note.


	7. the astronomy tower

**A/N: **_**WARNING**_**! IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE PLEASE DON'T READ THIS CHAPTER, BUT YOU CAN PM ME FOR A SUMMARY. PLEASE REVIEW.**

I trundled up the narrow staircase leading to the astronomy tower, my wand clutched tightly in my hand (I won't be of much use, I only know one spell and all it does is make things fly – but I am rubbish at it), I realised I was panting so heavily I sounded like a thirsty dog. I stood up straight and stopped for a minute. What was I doing? I mean, like, how stupid do you get, going up to see someone anonymous in the middle of the night. I turned around to head back to the common room when a voice sneered behind me:

"Oi! Duggan, you can't stand somebody up, it's rude. And besides, Uncle Tom wouldn't be very happy with you, walking away like that."

"What? You? What?" I spluttered, "a) how do you know I have an uncle named tom b) what's he got to do with it? And c) who are you?" the person still hid in the shadows. Killing me with curiosity and fear.

"I'm not going to answer any of those questions, because you know the answers to all of them. Now come to the top of the tower, and you might find out who I am."

"Might? You are such a liar!"

"Sometimes"

I followed the stranger to the tower wanting to go back more and more with each second. As soon as moonlight flooded the air around me I stood up straighter trying to see the mysterious stranger, but I must have been looking in the wrong direction because from behind yelled a voice "OBSCURO!" and my eyes were covered by a strong piece of cloth, blinding me. "Pertrificus totalus!" my arms were pinned to my side. "removus1" my blindfold was removed. A man with a blank mask over his face moved towards me. His breath was raspy. And he had no hair except for a few grey wisps atop his red scalp.

"hello beautiful," he crooned creepily, leaning in closer, and within a second all my clothes were gone, he partially removed the charm that froze me so he could part my legs then re froze me. He pressed his tongue on my neck then slid it down my body, making a detour to nibble my nipples. My neck was wet with a combination of sweat, tears and his saliva. He was licking my vagina, his rough tongue tasting parts of me I didn't know I had. Soon, his trousers were gone and he moved to stand. But he was knocked to the floor. I blacked out.

When I woke I was in a soft warm bed, fully clothed, thankfully. I opened my eyes and saw I was in a hospital.

"Ah, you're awake!" came a kind woman's voice from next to me, and she thrust a large slab of chocolate into my hand "eat up!" She said when I stared at it blankly, but I didn't eat it.

"Where am i?" I asked, my eyes darting around the room for some indication or clue.

"You're in the Hogwarts hospital wing, love" she said gently as she bustled around another bed, which had just been vacated.

"Who are you?"

"I'm madam pomfrey's assistant, Ginny potter"

"Wait, are you Albus' mum"

"Yes, I am, do you know him?"

"Yeah he's my friend. I think."

"Is rose angry at you for the Albus incident?"

"Yes, but I swear it wasn't me I promise. It was…"

"Yeah, I know it was James."

I put the chocolate in my mouth, and sat up on my pillows, realising why I was here. No…no…no…


	8. tom

It had been three months since the incident with Albus, and I still didn't know why rose had blamed me.

I finally brought up the courage one day when she was in a particularly good mood.

"Rose, why did you blame me when Albus got beat up?"

"I don't want to talk about it." She said stubbornly."

"Please, rose"

"Because James was talking about dishonouring the family, by making friends with a Duggan. He probably would have attacked me if I was there." She mumbled. "Don't sweat it."

I looked at her questioningly but I saw in her face that she meant it. It was the truth."

"What's so bad about being a Duggan?" I persisted,

"You really want to know?"

I nodded.

"Everything."

I sat there for a moment, still. Thinking. What was so bad? Everything? Only one solution…

I stood up and walked to the oak door leading out from the common room.

"Where are you go – "

"library." I no-one was going to tell me, time look up my own name.

I looked through all of the books about wizarding families, but the only Duggan was out in the male line, so it couldn't be mine. I looked in books about dark magic. Nope. I looked in books about sorcerers. Nope. I looked in books about families extinct in the male line. Nope. I looked in books about fake names. Nope.

I was just picking up the last book about wizarding names (madam pince had showed me them all) when Scorpius Malfoy and a scowling second year came in.

"She is looking up her name." the second year peered through a bookshelf, thinking I couldn't see them.

"What?" Scorpius muttered "you mean she doesn't know what it means that she's a Duggan? She doesn't know what that means?"

"Slughorn took all the books about it out when she turned up"

"Should we tell her?" Scorpius looked concerned.

I stood up. "Yes, you should."

Scorpius dropped the heavy looking book he had been pretending to read, and his mouth fell open. The second year quickly muttered "bye" and ran off.

"I like it when I get told stuff. Especially when it's about me." I said looking him square in the eyes. I was shorter than him and weaker than him as well, but he looked intimidated.

"It…it…ummm…it's not for me to tell" he stuttered

I raised my eyebrows

"I was sworn to secrecy!" his eyes were wide "I made a promise!"

"Well your just gonna have to break it." Malfoy's knowledge of my family history was frustrating, especially as I didn't know it myself.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him all the way to the common room. I pushed him against the wall and only then did I let go of his wrist, a surge of anger was pulsing through me, but I never usually got angry. I wanted to grab his head and crack his skull. This wasn't me.

"Tell me."

"No!"

"Tell me!"

"No"

"TELL ME!"

He looked at me pityingly, his eyes searching my face, "no" he said, and he shoved me off, and walked up to the boys' dorms.

I slumped down on the sofa, and put my head on my knees. Why did he know? In fact, why did everyone know? Rose and Albus knew. Slughorn knew. Malfoy knew. All the other slytherin's knew. Why didn't I know?

I got up and walked around the common room, earning myself a dirty look from a third year as my shoes clipped on the floor. I went up to the girls' dorm, where I found rose sitting talking to Vicky Frazer.

"It's not her fault!" rose was pleading,

"Yes it- oh hi alysia!"

"Hi, what's up?" I asked 'casually'

"No no nothing."

Rose stood up and walked over to me,

"I need to talk to you. Now." She pulled me away and led me to a small corridor, it looked as if nobody had been down there for years, and we walked for about five minutes then she grabbed my arm.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to forget the last time I was awake, with somebody else in a dark place.

"Well, my father and my uncle they believe that a certain dark wizard created loads of horcruxes, them and my mum destroyed them and killed him. But now they think they might have missed one, and he faked his own death, or was too weak to do anything with his life. Again. And they are plotting against him." She waited before continuing. "And well, quite a few people know now, and you are… well… you are related to him."

"WHAT?" I cried, "No, no you've got it wrong!"

"No I haven't. Is there anyone in your family called tom?"


End file.
